I recently read "The Inner Game of Tennis" by Timothy Gallway and was thoroughly blown away.
I heard about this book years ago - it's cited as the starting-point of life coaching, business coaching, and sports psychology. But what I read really took me by surprise. It's probably one of the clearest, most unpretentious, and most practical expressions of Buddhist and yogic principles that I've ever read.
I think life coaching as a field has a reputation for being on the shallow end of inner wellbeing — a prejudice I've also shared. But as often happens, when I went back to the founding text of this "tradition" I found something much richer than the caricatures and imitations that came after.
In short, Gallway proves that if you look at anything close enough — even tennis — it will reveal the same secrets you'll find at the bottom of the deepest spiritual traditions.
Gallway starts by pointing out that when we play any "outer game" be it tennis or romance or business, we are also playing one of many "inner games." These inner games are usually tied to our own self-worth and value. And if we lose the outer game, we feel as though we've lost value as a person, the respect and love of others, maybe even our future wellbeing.
The stakes seem to be much higher than just the winning and losing of a tennis match. As a result, people criticize and abuse themselves on the court after a lost point, saying things like "What are you doing, you idiot!?"
And if you ask someone what they're doing they might reply "I am talking to myself."Â
Interestingly, Gallway noticed there are two "selves" here: "I" and "myself."Â
He calls these selves Self 1 and Self 2:Â
Self 1 is the "I" which commands actions. — This is typically called "ego mind" or "rational mind."
Self 2 is "myself" which executes those commands. — Self 2 is also called the body / unconscious.Â
The issue, Gallway says, is that Self 1 doesn't trust Self 2 to do the job and so tries to do its job for it. When we say "I need to get out of my head," we mean that Self 1 is trying too hard to do Self 2's job.
Ironically, Self 1's effortful trying creates internal resistance which prevents Self 2 (the body-unconscious) to learn, adjust, and execute with smooth super-computer-like efficacy.
The answer, says Gallway, is to concentrate or "park" Self 1 in one place and allow Self 2 to do what it intuitively knows how to do.
To "park" the mind, Buddhists recommend focusing on the breath because it is ever-present and every-moving. But Gallways points out that you can concentrate on anything, such as the seams of a moving tennis ball, to keep the mind occupied.
When Self 1 is out of the way, Self 2 is able to act, react, and intuitively respond faster than thought itself.
Self 1 observes the result of Self 2's action, but doesn't criticize (or praise) the result. This non-judgement is essential to allowing Self 2 to learn and adjust after every attempt.
The resulting relationship between the two selves becomes collaborative. However, Self 1's role is more humble than it previously imagined. It can no longer take credit for success. But it also no longer feels threatened by failure.
In short, your value as a human being is no longer attached to your performance—good or bad.
Paradoxically, this detachment from the outcome of our actions is the very thing that allows us to learn most effectively and perform at higher and higher levels.
But the true game, says Gallway, isn't to perform at a higher level in order to "win" social praise or value (Self 1's typical concerns). The true inner game is to achieve higher and higher levels of consciousness and express the fullness of our potential.
There is something inherently fulfilling and deeply satisfying about this process of self-actualization. It is far more fulfilling than winning any game or competition. In fact, when he first realized this, Gallway was playing in a major tennis tournament and lost. But as he walked away from the court he had the unshakable feeling that while he'd lost the outer game he'd won the game that truly mattered: the inner game.
This kind of harmony and alignment between Self 1 and Self 2 is what allows the emergence of what Gallway calls Self 3. Some people call it Reality, Truth, Higher Self, God, or any number of other labels. He doesn't talk too much about Self 3 — which is probably for the best — but what's clear is that it's something that may naturally emerge when Self 1 and Self 2 are in proper relation and when we have learned to truly let go.
Imagine my surprise as I finished this book: here I am trying to bring a higher level of consciousness [or whatever you want to call it] into the field of coaching only to realize that it was there from the beginning. How funny. How fitting. And how humbling.
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